This week Sierra and I went over to the tennis courts to practice some bike riding.

Almost immediately, Sierra went into meltdown: “It’s not working, I hate this. I don’t want to learn.”

I could feel my blood pressure rise and my ears begin to hurt as I listened to her whine.

Happily, my sister, Dawn, was with us. Growing up, Dawn had a tough time.

She has since been diagnosed with dyslexia. But, back then, we lived in a little podunk town and, out of ignorance, she got placed with kids who were severely mentally and behaviorally challenged.

Imagine yourself as an extremely gifted and spirited child who was constantly teased and held back.

Imagine the frustration.

Somehow, over the years Dawn took her experiences from childhood and used them to become amazing at teaching children new skills.

She is currently working her magic at a children’s ski school in Northern New Mexico.

So, as I began to get irritated and shut down, Dawn stepped in and saved the day.

She had an awe inspiring patience with Sierra’s frustration and gave her simple, step-by-step, instructions.

When Sierra started to show signs of discouragement, Dawn pointed out how far she’d come.

A simple hour later and Sierra was riding the court and making turns on her own!

So, I asked Dawn what helped.

She shared how intimidating it can be to learn new skills as a child when an adult is towering over them. The simple magic is to get down to there level, create eye contact, and be patient when a child is feeling frustrated.

Monday Mindfulness for Dealing with a Perfectionist Child

Get down on your child’s level and look them in the eyes. If you really want your child’s perspective get down on your knees and have them stand on a chair. This can show you how intimidating a towering parent can be.

As a parent you don’t have expertise in all areas. Allow other members from your community to help educate and teach your child. It really does take a village.

When teaching a new skill, keep focusing on what is working, instead of harping on what isn’t. This will give your child a feeling of hope and reassurance that they can learn a new skill.