The Lying Daddy
Have you ever lied to your child?
There I was sitting in line watching the checker scan my groceries thinking, I wonder if she’ll notice that my baby Jack is eating that scrumptious apple. Nope she didn’t notice.
I headed out of the store and to my car for my quick getaway. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw my sweet kids strapped into place.
As I savored my triumph over breaking the rules, Sierra whispered from the back seat, “Daddy, you didn’t pay for that apple; isn’t that stealing?”
I was horrified, not that I was busted by my five-year old, but by what I said next.
The Lying Daddy
Well sweetie, it’s not really stealing if I didn’t notice Jack had the apple and we had already left the store.
Sierra, much wiser than me, replied, “You didn’t know he had the apple? But you gave it to him.”
Uhggg. What do I do now? The thoughts came flooding in and before I could manage my reaction, I became stupid and played dumb. I answered, “Nope, I didn’t know.”
Missing the Opportunities
I missed an opportunity to talk with my child about why I would take something that didn’t belong to me. And I had become a bold face liar!
That night I lay awake in bed wondering why I would tell a lie to my daughter, why I didn’t I just fess up. How could I expect her to not lie, if that’s what I was doing?
Humble Apple Pie
I awakened the next day trying to rationalize it. It was only a small white lie. I chuckled as I tried to defend my actions that countered my values of honesty and authenticity.
Feeling embarrassed, I invited Sierra back to the store. And like a young child with his hand caught in the cookie jar, I shared with Sierra that I lied.
“I did know that Jack had the apple and I was embarrassed to tell you the truth. I apologize and promise to be honest with you.” I grabbed an apple of approximate size, explained to the cashier what had happened, and awaited my sentence.
The cashier shocked me when she smiled and stated, “Thanks for being honest,” as she put the apple aside.
With my heart relieved from the burden of having to hide, Sierra looked me in the eyes with total love and simply said, “It’s okay Daddy.”
I’m hopeful as a parent that I will be able to offer Sierra the same love and generosity when she will someday be dishonest with me.
Monday Mindfulness for the Lying Parent
*Avoid the burden of having to cover up lies from your kids. If you find that your thoughts are worried or anxious about something you’ve told your children, find a way to express with them a newfound honesty.
*Your kids are sponges for new learning. Are you treating them with the same respect and compassion or becoming a corporal punisher when you find out they lied to you?
*If you noticed you’ve lied to your children, see if you can give yourself some empathy. By offering yourself some compassion, you’ll have more freedom from the mistakes we all make as parents.
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